I made the decision to leave, right or wrong!

Life has a way of throwing curveballs, muddying up the tracks, and stirring the emotional pot. My life was no different. When I think back to the day, I can still taste the bitterness mixed with a hint of exhilarated freedom. The day when I made the monumental decision to part from Polk County, Florida's charm, the day when I left behind roots that went deep into the quaint city of Lake County. This is my story— no glossy covers, no cut corners, just the raw and unabridged saga of my life.

Spiritual Awakening and Ongoing Battles

I had always been a spiritual man. The invisible thread connecting me and the Most High GOD was something I held on to, even in my bleakest moments. But spirituality and the divine connection couldn't shield me from the vicious onslaught of stomach pain that became my unwelcome constant.

Despite the countless times I prayed, hoping for divine intervention, the pain was constant, gnawing at me from my insides—a constant reminder of the tumultuous storm brewing beneath the calm of prayer. Talk about a test of faith!

On top of that, stress started creeping its way into my life, knotted up in my belly. It was a time so strained that even my trusted Espresso Machine seemed to hiss sympathetically with each brew.

Relationship Troubles and a Crumbling Heart

Looking back, I think my spirit started cracking way before my marriage started to crumble. My once loving and caring wife decided to stay with and care for her father, which was commendable. But in doing so, she left me alone, lost, floating aimlessly in an ocean of doubt.

When I asked her to come back home, she refused. At that moment, I felt the strain on our relationship a fracture. I was sure then, as I am now, that our marriage was as good as over. Then fate intervened, or maybe it was weakness, and I was seeing someone else. I met her online, an intriguing woman with deep pockets who seemed eager to buy not just my time but my kids' happiness as well.

But happiness cannot be bought. Something about it didn't sit well with my soul. I felt like an auctioned showpiece, and my children were the prime exhibits. We quickly ended our brief tryst. It helped, of course, that my kids didn't exactly warm up to her.

The Great Departure and the Aching Heartstrings

When my elder son, JJ, turned 14 and my son MD and Step-Grandson Q were 11, I decided to leave. I thought of a fresh start, of dusting off the cobwebs of past miseries. But leaving Polk County, my home for (17) seventeen years, was agonizingly bitter, like sucking on a lemon without the sweetness of a lemonade.

The hardest part, though, was seeing the confused look of my children. My emotions tossed in a tumultuous sea as I packed. I wondered if JJ would get used to not seeing me every day. MD tugged at my heartstrings with tear-streaked cheeks. Even Q begged to come with me. I felt like I was abandoning them, yet I was helpless, chained by my own decisions.

Isaiah's Light in the Darkness

In times of despair, I find solace in the verses of the Holy Bible. Isaiah 41:10 gives me the strength to move ahead:

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee, be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

It's a beautiful, soul-stirring verse, reminding me that I am not alone, that God is with me, guiding me through my path, ones strewn with both thorns and petals.

The Jessie Holmes Experience

Life, they say, is what you make of it, an abstract painting, where each stroke of our decisions bleeds into the fabric of our days, creating a masterpiece or a disaster, depending on our actions. My journey, much like my untamed beard, has been rough around the edges, but it's an experience that is uniquely and unapologetically Jesse Holmes.

Through my story, I hope to connect with others who've been through similar experiences. After all, we are nothing more than travelers crossing paths on our journey of life, aren't we? Let's walk this winding road together, one step at a time, through the highs and lows, the joys and the sorrows. Through shared stories and experiences, we can help each other navigate this labyrinth we call life.

And in the end, we might just discover, as I did, that the decision to leave, right or wrong, was just another step on this journey. It wasn't the end, but a bend in the road, leading me toward an unknown yet promising horizon. 

Jessie Holmes