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My Autistic Son: When One Door Closes, Another Door Opens

A Fortunate Phone Call

Let me paint you a picture. My son, JJ, was a precocious 12-year-old, an age of roller coaster emotions, an age where everything promises to change every moment. Just around this time, our lives took an unexpected turn. As some of you may know, my bread and butter has been my janitorial cleaning business for over a dozen years.

One seemingly unimportant day, I received a call from Lake Wales in Florida. They needed an estimate for janitorial services. Little did I know then – that business call would change our lives. Truth be told, I not only ended up bagging a janitorial contract but also bagged the opportunity to run a coffee shop, a long-time dream of mine.

The Price of Dreams

However, to turn that dream into reality, I had to make sacrifices. My commitments to the coffee shop, combined with my cleaning services, made my life a 24/7 circus and, inevitably, my family had to take a backseat. Let me tell you, folks, running a business is not for the faint-hearted. It's a ruthless, tiring cycle. You convince yourself that you are doing it all for them – your family. But that's not how my wife saw it. Increasingly, she became jealous of the coffee shop, which felt like a third entity in our relationship.

How It All Affected JJ

Now, you need to understand that children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), like JJ, tend to abhor change, they find comfort in routine. Around that period, change was the only constant. It hit the hardest when their mom and I decided to separate for the first time. Just imagine how shattering it can be for a child, the pillar of their life crumbling, splitting. Can you blame JJ for his outbursts?

Indeed, the effects of a parent leaving the home can be overwhelming, especially for an autistic child. It can cause unforeseen damage- damage that can mold their future personality in ways we cannot begin to comprehend.

Darkest Before The Dawn

Fast forward to a year later, I started to lose cleaning contracts, the backbone of my earnings. Putting trust in people to do their jobs, to uphold quality, was a mistake. Not shockingly, things fell apart, and my once-secure clients started canceling.

With a heavy heart, I had to make the executive decision to shut down my coffee shop, my dream. All of this was done in a bid to save the Janitorial business, the boat keeping me afloat. And our strained marriage took another hit, the cracks widening to chasms.

Now, if you're like me and you've gone through hell and back, feeling lost, the Book of Revelations always gives me some solace:

Rev. 3:7 "And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write; These things saith he that is holy, he that is true, he that hath the key of David, he that openeth, and no man shutteth; and shutteth and no man openeth."

It's easy to see every mishap, every setback as a closed door. But remember, each defeat, each closed door is an opportunity for a new beginning. The key is to never lose hope, to believe that when one door closes, somewhere another door opens. I learned it the hard way, and my story, our story, is a testament to that. 

Jessie Holmes